The golden age of Viz Comic may be over.
But in its heyday it came up with some magnificently innovative and downright offensive slogans for their T-shirts and posters.
The favourite though, by a quick half, was the picture of a sozzled smoker, a fag between leering lips and with pint in hand, declaring: “Doctors say, stay in the pink with ciggies in drink.�

Alas for Puffing Billys, one part of that prescription went up in smoke this week with the introduction of the ban on lighting up in enclosed premises.
The solution that patronising so-and-sos such as yours truly would come up with is to say “Now’s the right time to get hip to the smokeless jive, daddio.�
Indeed, the sanctimonious Pub Column did it at the first attempt with a trip to the hypnotherapist six years ago knowing that to run the 2001 New York Marathon after intensive training on a daily diet of Hamlet cigars and strong lager would have led to heaving fits, a purple face and subsequent certain death before even crossing over the Staten Island Bridge en route to Central Park 26 miles away.
But with the likes of regular PC companion Arts Editor Mr Phil “wotcha cock� Key (a lifetime smoker whose smoking habits have previously been likened to that of a lab beagle in this very column), it would be asking a bit much for him to go cold turkey overnight.
He is, however, doing his best in enforced circumstances to appease his sawbones and cut back. For instance, on a couple of daily visits to The Exchange this week he managed to sup on his customary Double Famous Grouse with Loads of Ice without having a puff for over an hour, a Herculean effort of will power.
Or so one would have thought. He confessed that he hadn’t missed them really at all primarily because there was no-one else smoking to lead him into temptation.
He’s actually now quite gleeful about the number of tabs he has left in his 20 pack of Richmonds at the end of the day.
Exchange landlord Richie Owen says that his dinnertime trade has actually gone up in the few days since the ban has been imposed, especially among the ladies who lunch brigade. This will not however prevent him from going ahead with his application to have a canvas covered smoking area constructed on the Old Hall Street pavement immediately outside.
One pub that had the necessary space to pre-empt the ban and cater for smokers is the nearby Cross Keys, whose expensive refit at the beginning of the year included the modification of the elevated beer garden.
Previously dubbed Stalag Luft 96 due to its barbed wire and matching weeds surround, it’s now a covered state of the art outside smoking area, with downstairs patio. Landlord Matt Brannan says that heaters and a big screen are due to hang from the rafters soon, providing a regular home from home for smokers in the future.
As a reward for his perseverance earlier in the week, the Pub Column accompanied Mr Key on a trip to the Keys this week to try out the al fresco smoking experience.
It passed muster for him despite the incessant pitter patter of the rain pouring down on the plastic screen above and the ear-shattering rattle of the team of pneumatic drills from the adjacent building site.
Amid such surroundings who could deny that the pulling power of the ciggie is dead.
Cue Hallelujah chorus of hacking coughs, throat clearing and gobbing.
Amen.

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