Enchanted by the moody location shots of Fort Perch Rock lighthouse in the new Beatles flick Across the Universe, Lady Penelope of Pensby and the Pub Column decided to reaquaint ourselves with New Brighton.

Every Merseysider should love New Brighton. There’s an air of windswept romance about a place where you can stand on its beach, squint out over the Mersey Bar and imagine that the next stop is New York.
Fuelled by such a marvellous vision the first port of call on arrival here was our favourite House of the Dead machine at the Art Deco amusement arcade on the sea front.
The Lady has become addicted to this enjoyable zombie shoot em’ up since occasionally joining the Pub Column on its journeys. Sometimes, however, she can be too triggerhappy. Among the Pensby afternoon tea circle Its earned her the nickname Child Killer after she mistakenly blew up a poor little girl being chased by hordes of the rotting resurrected following over-enthusiastic use of her grenade launcher.
But woe, woe, and thrice woe, on this occasion the Lady’s blood thirst was not be sated and she let out a high pitched howl on seeing the Out of Order sign hanging from the game’s screen.
A stiff drink was required - and we found it at the Clarence Hotel on Albion Street.
The Wirral Pub of the year in 2005 the Clarence has retained its high reputation among suppers with another entry in the latest edition of the drinkers bible the national CAMRA Good Beer Guide. It’s a top noshers pub too with a Diners Club and a Curry Night Quiz combo among the attractions. It also posesses a mean hand of poker players who descend on the pub every Wednesday night.
But we, as they say, were only here for the beer.
There are two permanent cask beers the enduringly popular Deuchers IPA and the Castle Eden Ale. The third real ale is a guest and manager of 20 years Avril Roberts, who originally comes from Woolton but who has now mutated into an adopted Wirralian, says that they will always try and give priority to putting on locally brewed beers in this slot. One of the favourites in recent weeks has been the smooth and tasty Trapper’s Hat bitter created by Neil Young at the Brimstage micro brewery down the road.
By way of an incidental Avril, who runs the pub on a joint basis with landlord Les Hayes, is told by the Pub Column that she has a nice name.
It produces a laugh and the confession: “I hate it! People are always calling me Average or Anvil instead!”
The subject of names came up after trying to find out why the pub was called The Clarence. TV nostalgia saddos may be disappointed that it has no connection with Clarence the cross-eyed lion in children’s series Daktari but everything to do with the grim-faced gent in frills and military waistcoat hanging on the pub’s sign outside.
Anvil, sorry Avril, says she has no idea who this misery-moo is but the regulars believe that he may be one of the ghosts who haunts the pub. And although she has never seen Clarence personally Avril knows he’s definitely there.
“Sometimes he’ll come up behind me and tickle the hairs on the back of my neck,” she says.”But he’s not at all scary - if he was I wouldn’t be here!”
So, good ghosts, good beer and good food - what more could you possibly want. All that’s missing is a House of The Dead machine and life would be perfect.

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